The Most Annoying Man in the World

I would like to introduce you to the most annoying man in the world.

His name is Dieter, he's an accountant, hasn’t washed his hair in days, and looks like a poorly dressed troll.

Any of you who have visited Germany know that their newspapers are designed to make a lot of noise when you turn the pages.  Dieter attacks a newspaper the way his father attacked Poland, with force and explosive movements.  He had not one but four newspapers and he kept snapping the pages the way one snaps a towel in the locker room when you are young and dumb.  In between this noise fest he took out a nail clipper and preceded to trim his nails, even the ones on his prehensile feet.  That noise is like chalk on a blackboard to me and I almost smacked him, but I'm nice.

He ate like a caveman, fingers flying, napkin discarded as unnecessary since he never used it, favoring to use the back of his hand to wipe his face as a more efficient method of hygiene.  After placing enough food in his mouth to look like a chipmunk in autumn, he would then take huge gulps of beer and swish it all around and shallow hard followed by lovely burps.  To end our lovely time together he proceeded to fall fast asleep and snored loudly, like the slob that he was.  It was truly a memorable flight.  This guy should have been on the outside of the plane looking in!

Munich airport is huge, efficient, and lovely.  It is everything that most airports are not.  It is meticulously clean; it has very wide passageways so that everyone can move about easily.  It is nicely lit and had art and architecture to amuse and calm the soul.  Between every four gates there are little kiosks that have all the papers you could think of plus coffee machines for espresso, cappuccino, etc, all free.  There are even little bistro tables so you can sit and wait for your flight to be called, it is so civil. 

The flight from Munich to Lisbon was smooth and comfortable; I had a lady with impeccable manners next to me.  TAP, the Portuguese airline, has little TV monitors throughout the cabin that continually show you where you are, which I love.  The Alps were pure white and the Iberian Peninsula was just lovely to look at from 37,000 feet.  Traffic in Lisbon is as bad as Moscow and it took about an hour to get to the hotel, but it is a lovely city and it gave me a chance to looks a monuments and old buildings that are truly amazing.

That is it for now; I’m really whipped and need to rest well for the upcoming marathon of meetings.  Ciao, wm